Anonymous asked: I'm not sure if I'm seeing it more because it pertains to me as well or if there really are more, but I've noticed that quite a few people who always thought they would be Hufflepuff and get sorted into Slytherin. After reading welcome message, researching, etc they find that Slytherin is truly the house they belong to. I know people share traits from all houses, but I seem to find more confessions for Hufflepuffs that are now Slytherins. What are your thoughts on this?

SlytherSnake thinks this is simple.

Young first years hear HuffleBadger bragging about how all the badasses are in his house and they think to themselves, “I am a badass. I must be Hufflepuff.”

When clearly all the badasses are in Slytherin.

Also all that ambitious=hardworking shit.

Anonymous asked: Slythersnake do you have a rattle on your tail?

SlytherSnake knows other little snakes have rattles to tell everyone to eff off.

SlytherSnake does too, but he charmed it too be quiet.

Everytime he was around Gryffinlion it wouldn’t stop and HuffleBadger threatened to cut it off.

So now SlytherSnake just uses his perfected Slytherin glare.

Anonymous asked: Have you found the perfect rock for the summer Slythersnake?

SlytherSnake is using the petrified body of Gryffinlion. So yes.

Anonymous asked: ...did you kill Gryffinlion? Or lock him away somewhere? He hasn't been seen...

SlytherSnake would like to express his deepest concern about this situation, and put down in writing that SlytherSnake has no *idea* where Gryffinlion could be.

May SlytherSnake suggest one of the other many enemies he’s made bested him? Gryffinlion is reckless…

thatblondeeveryonelaughsat asked: I love how Hufflebadger named all of you.

SlytherSnake was actually SlytherinSnake for awhile until an imposter tried to take over using the name SlytherSnake. So SlytherSnake stole it to prove who was best.

And this is just SlytherSnake’s public name.

Anonymous asked: What is one question you've never been asked but always wanted to answer Slythersnake?

SlytherSnake has always wanted to be asked to kill Gryffinlion for a thousand Galleons.

Once SlytherSnake accomplished that he’d get a nice warm rock, and all the groomed mice he wanted, and he wouldn’t have to hear a single obnoxious roar ever again.

Then he could pay off Ravenbird and HuffleBadger (in books and food respectively) to not be so upset.

All of this is definitely hypothetical and not premeditated.

Not at all.

Anonymous asked: If you and the other mascots were an army, who would do what?

SlytherSnake and Ravenbird would be the strategy planners.

Gryffinlion would be the first to ruin the plan because of his need to prove he’s brave and over-emotional responses.

He’d need saving, which HuffleBadger would probably do while fighting off the bad guys.

SlytherSnake would probably join in at that point to hiss at Gryffinlion and get shit done.

Anonymous asked: Dear SlytherSnake, recently one of my friends was sorted into Slytherin with me. I don't understand how she got there, however. She's not ambitious, not all that clever or witty, and would be one of those people that sits around and spreads love and joy. Do you think the Sorting Hat put her with me so that I could have a minion in easy access, seeing as how all my other friends are in Hufflepuff?

SlytherSnake knows there are a few wizards and witches that get put in the wrong house. He still shakes his head at the fact Gregory Goyle managed to pass through being such an idiot and that Peter Pettigrew managed to be a Gryffindor.

Maybe she will show her Slytherin colors later in life, or maybe you don’t see what the Sorting Hat did. Either way, be happy you have a partner in crime so close. Or minion, if you will. Those come in handy.

On wizarding blood:

A) You follow how you were raised until you see differently.

B) Slytherins latched on to the pureblood ideals more than others because of their quest to be elite, and being born pureblood gave them that satisfaction.